Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Hand Over the Gavel Please!


This blog comes from a place of anger. Anger over the words judgement, judged, judging, judge and jury. Ok now one would ask why would should I be angry over those words? Well let's see now I have had judgement brought on me, have been judged and all by those that felt they were judge and jury. Now who would have possibly done this? I believe they call themselves and I am a little embarrassed to say this.....Christians. Why would I feel embarrassed about saying that? The answer to that is because I call myself a Christian. My question to all my fellow Christians out there is "What gives us the right to think we are someones judge and jury?"



Now if I were someone else reading this, I would ask "What brought this on?" Well without going into alot of detail it has to do with something that happened to me about five and a half years ago. I went through a divorce. Now after this divorce there were people that call themselves Christians that would have nothing to do with me and to this day some still will not. I was and to this day am judged. Now let's see there is a book that we Christians read. I believe it is called the Bible. There was a person that is written about in this book. His name was Jesus Christ and I believe He was and is very important to the Christian faith. This being said let me share some of his words : "Stop judging others, and you will not be judged. For others will treat you as you treat them. Whatever measure you use in judging others it will be used to measure how you are judged. And why worry about a speck in your friend's eye when you have a log in your own? How can you think of saying, 'Friend, let me help you get rid of that speck in your own eye', when you can't see past the log in your own eye? Hypocrite! First get rid of the log from your own eye then perhaps you will see well enough to deal with the speck in your friend's eye." New Living Translation

Now I have been thinking about this judgement thing quite a bit over the last five and a half years and as most things that bug me, the longer I have had to think about them the angrier I tend to get about them. Now I am not just angry at those who have judged me, but I am also mad at myself for allowing myself at times to do the same thing to others. My prayer is "Heavenly Father please forgive your children for playing judge and jury and not handing over gavel and robe to you".

Donna one and one says: Be careful, all your judgements will come back and bite you in the butt!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Donna's Thoughts: The face of a healthy relationship

Donna's Thoughts: The face of a healthy relationship

The face of a healthy relationship

The other day my fiancee' and I were talking when I asked him a question. The question was "How do you know what a healthy relationship is when you have never seen or been in one?" My thought was too that if I have already been through a divorce, what makes me think I could possibly make another marriage work? Well he took time and thought about what I had asked him. He then wrote about it and sent a response to me via e-mail. He gave me permission to share it in my blog and I will do so now.....

The other day I was asked a question, "How do you know what a healthy relationship looks like, if you have never seen one?" My first thought was, she must be crazy asking me this question. I come from a single parent family (father’s death, not divorce) and have failed at my marriage attempt. I am the last person who would know how a healthy relationship looks. I thought about the question for a couple of days. So what constitutes a healthy relationship? Being an avid reader, I have read many books on relationships. These books although different, basically say the same thing. A healthy relationship is based on four things: love, commitment, communication, and trust. Wow, is that why my marriage failed. There was no commitment, no communication, no trust, and if there was any love it was destroyed long before the marriage was over. Let’s put this to the test. The only good marriage I have seen up close and personal was my grandparents. Love, they loved each other deeply. Commitment, they were committed to each other and to God, Communication, they grew up in a very different time. The communication was mostly from my grandfather to grandmother. They were brought up to believe the man was the head of the house and his decisions were final. Trust, they trusted each other and they trusted God. The question was "How do you know if you have a healthy relationship if you have never seen one?" If you keep God in the center of your relationship and share a love and respect for each other, then the communication, commitment and trust come naturally. When I look at the relationship I am in now, I believe we have a healthy relationship. We love each other, are committed to the relationship, our communication is wonderful, we trust each other, and most importantly God is at the center of our relationship. We are a good example of a healthy relationship.

Wow...when I read that there were tears and I had my answer ..... we have love, commitment, communication and trust.....I have never seen or been involved in a relationship with all of these qualities....Do I think there will not be challenges? Oh I know there will be, but with Father God's help we will get through them......Let me challenge you my reader....If you are in a realationship put it to the test....is there love, commitment, communication and trust? If any of these are lacking, talk to the Father and trust me he will help you....after all he has your best interest in mind....